Glad to hear that you've got a plan in the works. So finding another place means not having to worry about being evicted. Hopefully they will not sue you for any damages that your deposit won't cover.

What -if any- opinion has your ex expressed about this whole situation. I know you said he has some doubts about the definition or related limitations of your son's handicap. Perhaps now he will be fully convinced.

Wonderful. As a parent of a child with an oppositional defiance disorder, I can sympathize with your plight. People think if we just took better care of them, established better rules etc.

They don't understand that there aren't enough rules to prevent the kind of stuff these kids do. It doesn't occur to you to tell them in advance, not to put nailpolish in the electrical sockets or climb onto the roof naked. And yes my daughter has done both of those things.

What I don't get is how your husband can continue to have doubts, even when he's in a position to be taking care of his son.

Oh yeah we talked about this before. You said he had Rhys syndrom as an infant? There is no medical evidence to support autism spectrum disorders being the result of aspirin overdose, of prolonged fever or even head injury. Those are all urban myths, perpetuated by misinformed members of the media.

Whatever is wrong with your son, he was born with. Nothing external made him that way.

Your ex's need to believe that someone is personally responsible for your son's condition says a lot about him though. I imagine he's a bit of a control freak. So the idea of having a son with a condition that makes him difficult -or pretty much impossible- to control makes him feel inadequate both as a man and a parent. So he must shift that blame to you. That way it's not his fault.

Hate to stereotype. But was he a military man?

I win a stuffed bear!

I'm so sorry. I've just seen this very same scenario over and over. I wish I could help you somehow. ):

Same thing. Military, police and the like attract a certain type of guy. The obsession with control seems to be a consistent trait among career military men -and women too I supposed. But it doesn't necessarily bode well with children.

Because when someone isn't rational, which children rarely are, they cannot be controlled through conventional means. Meaning you can't frighten them into obedience or submission.

Your ex probably feels inadequate because he knows he can't relate to his kids in a meaningful way. He sees you relating to them and secretly longs to have that.

Oh absolutely not. He's an adult and even though he might not know the deeper reasons why he's doing what he's doing, he's still responsible for it.

He may try to use the kids against you. But I doubt he will succeed, as you are the one who has developed the more meaningful relationship with them. You're the one who understands their limitations and celebrates their successes. So ultimately that time invested will earn your children's loyalty. Autistic or not, they can see their dad for what he truly is.

Kind of figured ;)

I think it's so amazingly admirable that you're maintaining such a positive attitude about the whole thing. That will go a long way in helping you and your family to recover from these losses. I'm so sorry about your cats and the possessions and home you've lost, but I know you all are going to be fine, because you still have each other and you still have your faith :) *hugs*